As a child church was more of a stress than a haven or joy. There was always the stress of getting around for services because we had that "image" to maintain. Then, since my father didn't go to church, usually some kind of fight because it was only the two of us going. Church was another place I never seemed to fit in and not simply because I was a loner. Although we didn't move homes, we moved churches A LOT. My mother would find a church and at first it would be the best church ever but with time that would always change. She didn't like how they preached or what they believed or one church I remember us leaving because she didn't approve of the songs they sang. Even if I told her I liked one church or the other, still we switched. Eventually I fought her one church attendance and didn't go back until my older years. I love God and the purpose of His House, yet in my earliest years I felt more of a connection to him outside than I ever did inside.