Tuesday, December 29, 2020
How grateful, thankful, and relieved am I for the love of Jesus? Let me put it to you this way; I love Jesus but do not like every single aspect of His character. Does He understand this? Certainly. And for that I could never properly express how much I appreciate His understanding. Does the aspect of Him that I don’t like make me view Him as less in my eyes? I pray that will never be the case. I’m only human and a fault I find in Jesus is a flaw in me; not Him. He understands all the complexities of my flaws in ways I could never express or comprehend. Some days are harder to bare then others but there is an unexplainable peace that happens when I remember how much Jesus understands and cry from the simple truth of that understanding. Not until I really started to walk with Him did I learn that there are tears of sorrow, tears of pain, and tears of frustration; but also tears of gratitude.
Monday, December 7, 2020
As a child I was prone to anxiety and impatience. Worry WAS a friend of mine and I didn’t even know that I was doing it. My impatience would turn into anger very quickly. The anxiety that I felt was brought on by pressures. Pressures from family and from my own thoughts, expectations, experiences, etc. Time made me anxious to the point that I would look at the clock constantly. Being so young I didn’t know that this was not healthy, especially since everything is so fast paced nowadays. The impatience that I felt was from frustrations. Frustrations that also centered around time. In a world always playing beat the clock, I couldn’t hear what God was tryin to tell and show me at an early age. Balancing these two took, ironically, time and persistence. And was well worth the effort.